Customs and Traditions of Russian Romance

Here are some customs and traditions, methods and their details for romancing girls from central Europe, Russia and Ukraine. Use these procedures to intelligently and prudently generate excitement and romance in your international relationship.

Romance

Romance is alive and well and living in Russia! While the value of romance has diminished in the west, it has gained importance in Russia and Ukraine. Russian girls understand and appreciate a romantic approach better than any other, and a romantic approach to a relationship is the key to success.

In a romantic approach, the gentleman is interested in the mood, thoughts and daily life of the lady. He is sensitive to her current situation and concerns. His approach courts her behavior and his goal is to anticipate her thoughts and needs and to satisfy them. He should ask himself, “What is she thinking about now and how can I anticipate and help?” Acting on the answers will save her time and trouble, but more importantly will align his behavior and thoughts with hers, a requirement for a lasting relationship.

Courting

Courting is as old as the hills, but it still applies today, especially for Russian-American relationships. Forget the modernist objections to opening doors and ladies first, for they are truly appreciated by Russian girls.

For an initial contact, one should introduce himself with an introductory letter and a photo. The letter may be based on a template letter, but it must be reviewed and modified to suit the recipient. It should include where you found her, why you are interested, what your interests are and why the two of you would be good together. It should be translated into Russian by a professional service (no software translations), as one cannot rely on the English-level rating scales (1-5 typical) of the meeting agencies.

Some girls receive many letters and have difficulty selecting a good companion for a response. You can tilt the table in your favor in such a case by including a memento with your letter, such as a red rose or stuffed toy teddy bear. An extra like this will always get your letter read and will very likely garner a response.

Flowers

Flowers are a key form of communication. Transcending language, flowers speak volumes about care and consideration. One should send at least one bouquet to his sweetheart during courting, in addition to a bouquet and/or gift for birthdays and holidays.

Roses are the romance flowers of choice and red is the traditional color of love. Long-stem roses are preferred, being most rare, and they represent the rarity and innocence of love.

Lilies and other flowers less romantic but perfect for variety. Send one of these if you previously sent a rose bouquet. Many Russian girls have never seen a lily bouquet and all will be thrilled by the fragrance.

In Russia, odd numbers of flowers are given for romantic occasions. You should send 11 roses instead of the usual dozen. Actually, any odd number is good and the more flowers in the bouquet the more attention is generated. Even numbers of flowers are only given at funerals.

Don't forget your companion's mother and daughter (if any) on the important holidays. Sending a bouquet or single rose to your girl's mother shows great class and is the act of a true gentleman. It is sure to get the respect of your girl. Sending a flower or special girl's package to your friend's daughter will make a similar statement about your concern and thoughts for the entire future family.

We recommend you use a flower delivery service that offers photos of the recipient upon delivery. Photos are very revealing, and you might notice the recipient changing clothes between shots to offer you some variety. Email photo delivery with optional reprints is most convenient.

Gifts

The best advice here is never send gifts through the mail. There are two main reasons for this.

First, Russian customs opens parcels and removes items. Many parcels arrive in a different box with the contents rifled, items missing.

Second, import duty is due and payable on receipt of the goods by the receiver. The parcel will not be released if the duty is not paid. The duty is very high, ~50% of the declared value, often a hardship for the recipient.

Although inexpensive items can be sent by post (e.g. books, cassette tapes), we recommend operating locally for items that are more substantial. Send items using a reliable, western (non-Russian) company with a delivery agent in the destination city. If there's a problem, the western company will be more reachable and more responsive.

Flower and gift Delivery

Here are several points to keep in mind when selecting a flower and gift delivery service:

Use a service that specializes in Russian-American relationships. This can be very helpful as such a company understands the unique requirements of a multi-cultural relationship.

Use a service that provides delivery by appointment (no FTD style drop-and-run). Delivering goods in Russia is unlike that in the west. Theft and vandalism are rampant and a delivery appointment is the only way to insure the items are properly received.

Use a service that verifies the recipient's ID upon delivery. Identity fraud does occur and an independent ID check is invaluable for determining if a recipient is legitimate.

Use a service that provides the delivery reaction via a personal meeting with the recipient. For developing relationships, every independent opinion is valuable. A service that passes the delivery agent's observations back to you by Email is preferred. You can get a good and candid look at someone's personality with this extra information. You may discover the recipient is curt and disrespectful or pleasant and hospitable, inviting the delivery agent in for tea and dinner.

Use a service that accepts credit cards. Don't send Western Union funds to Russia or Ukraine as a method of payment. Once the money is sent it's gone, and you'll have no recourse should a problem arise. Use a credit card, as the credit card company offers support in case of a dispute.

Use a service that keeps credit card info in the west. It's an unnecessary risk to release charge card info overseas. Use a US or Eurpoean-based company that operates their business office entirely from inside the country. Beware of companies that operate in Russia and use a credit card clearing house in the west. You can't be sure where your information is or will really be stored.

Sending Money

When it's time to send money to support your sweetheart and her communication, use the following rules as a guide.

Send by Western Union direct to the recipient, no middleman or agency. The English spellings of her first and last names are required.

Send small amounts. $100-200 is enough for communication purposes. The Western Union price break is at $100, so this is a good starting point.

Send larger amounts only after the recipient has been met in person. There is no need for transfer of large amounts initially. Letter writing, Emailing and photographing are not overly expensive. Do not send money for extravagant items, such as fur coats, wedding preparations, auto accidents, hospitalization, old debts or any other purpose except Internet cafe communication, before the recipient has been met in person. Doing otherwise, even for a sincere companion, sets you up for large expenditures later.

Use bank wire transfers for cities where no Western Union office exists. Ask the recipient to open a dollar account in a bank that does not require an initial deposit (research several banks). Some banks will receive and distribute funds without an account. Then funds can be wired and received in 1 day. The wire transfer fee is high, ~$50, so this should be used infrequently and for larger amounts of $500 or more.

Conclusion

With thought and caring, you will be successful in your search to find the best of companions. A new family is starting and if you treat your companion with respect, as if she were already your wife, your relationship will fall naturally into place.